From Me to We
When tasked with making difficult decisions in your relationships, the principal question to consider is: Will this decision serve the highest good of myself and others?
The answer to this question is reached by intermixing guidance from my Higher Power, my Higher Self, and wise friends; I find a middle of the road solution, choosing the route that does not only benefit me, does not only benefit others, but benefits both of us.
Seeking action which benefits everyone is always the best action to take, and these actions are typically deliberate, and always compassionate.
How exactly do you get there? Think of a past situation that did not work out well as a result of a choice you made. After removing the justification for why you behaved a certain way, think about how your decision affected you, the other person, and the relationship overall. Did it help or hurt? Did it mend or splinter?
Admitting mistakes, accepting your flawed thinking, and conceding to errors takes a high level of maturity, a dose of humility, and heaps of honesty. Difficult, yes, but mandatory for this process, as it demands an objective perspective which arrives when you admit you made a poor choice. You take an objective perspective by removing your egotistical emotions from the circumstance. If you had a birds eye view of the situation as it was unfolding, and your emotional comfort was unaffected by the outcome, what action would you take?
This is how you remove the ego and discover solutions which serve the mutual benefit of the relationship.
The idea is to shift your subjective all-about-me perspective to an objective all-about-we perspective. Sure, you will want to consider how others feel, but do not forget about your needs; you are working toward a healthier relationship with yourself and with others, and this means making a decision which pleases both parties to a certain degree.
There may be times when you must sacrifice what you want for the sake of the relationship, if it is something you can live with. However, it’s never truly sacrificial. When it seems like the decision left you completely dissatisfied, think creatively and you will always find a positive aspect.
There will be times when a mutual solution cannot be reached, and you must do what’s best for you. That’s okay. Let the other party work out their feelings on their own. Console yourself by remembering that you sought compassion and were considerate of someone else’s needs. Your good intentions and clean heart are what matter on this never-ending journey of emotional freedom and soul evolution.
